Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Letter of the week (3) Nornal? what do you know...?

I was telling you the other day about that guy from  who contacted me after so many years, but who didn't had the courage to write me back. Well, guess what!? He replied at some point, more confused than he was before. OF course, he was not expecting me too see that he was looking for me on the internet, even though he admitted he did a search from time to time to see what's new in my life. And how I have my very personal page and Facebook and twitter and stuff, it was easy for him to find out one thing or another.

BUT the thing now is that he doesn't know if to continue talking to me or not. He is confused. And I've sent him a second email saying he has to calm down, not worry so much and stuff like that. But the fact is that telling him not to worry made me really nervous. I was really, BUT really calm, neutral, with no "thoughts of complications", just wanted to chat and see what's new in his life, and all the sudden I've realised that he made me somehow wonder if this is OK to continue or not. And of course my logic mind was telling me "no, of course it's not OK to continue!" But then what?! I should let this thing go, just like that?! I mean, it's pretty easy to say it, but hard to do it. What if he gets into this way too much and "de-focus" on his real life?! That could be it. And he probably feels that way, he feels he could lose his head and he's OF COURSE  afraid of this. And prefers not to get complicated. BUT then, let's just say I have never see that he was looking for me, do you think it's normal for a married guy with a kid to look for me online from time to time to see what I'm doing!?
I guess not. And he knows it. BUT even so, I still want to know more about him. The curious mind made me wonder all those details that come into hand when you have a close friend, but are so hard to guess when you're miles away!

Anyway, I've decided to write another email. I cannot leave things like this, I have to end it somehow or continue it the other way around. Whatever it is, it will be complication-free, because I want clear, categoric messages. And this is what it will be. Let's see now what shall I write now. 

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